Foot to the floor in a Four by Four

Well okay, this is it. The email address list is complete. So I will assume I have you all now.

Last time I left you we were in Hua Hin. A sleepy little fishing village that is kicking off with tourism. We had an easy few days walking the streets and eating. That seem to take up a lot of our time. We eat and then walk it off and get real hungry so we eat again. Is a vicious circle. A couple of nights before we left our ocean side home we had a few beers with a great Brit couple, Lisa and Neil, and Shane an ex-pat Kiwi returning home and his French girlfriend Beatrice. It was nice to talk rubbish on a pier drinking Chang beer. Chang is a local Carlsberg so they say. That night Neil was telling us about his problems with travel sickness. Busses, cars, boats etc. He even told us about the time he was sick on an Elephant. Mel asked about where you can eat an elephant. Everyone was very quick to correct poor Melly, and Neil was sick riding one not eating it. Also another interesting discovery, the moon is crooked here. The crescent is not like a ( or a ) but a U. The () and U are moon shapes by the way. From New Zealand’s perspective this looks just plain wrong. Also we learnt there is a pot constellation in the northern skies too but its more like a frying pan.

On our last day in Hua Hin we decided we couldn’t be bothered with a bus for our next leg and we decided to rent a car. Also we had no idea exactly where we were going to go anyway so a car makes it so much easier to go nowhere. First we tried to find Budget rent a car. There was a sign on a soi (Side street, hey lets learn Thai!) for Budget so we found ourselves walking up and down the soi about 5 times trying to find it. We passed a restaurant 10 times and each time the girl at the door invited us in for lunch. We felt a little silly at about pass number 6. Eventually we found budget (right at the start of the street) and also discovered they do not live up to their name. So we decided to let Avis try harder. Eventually we decided on a Kia Sportage 4X4. Well what can I say but Yeeehaaaaa! And a good decision too but I will get to that soon. Later that day we had lunch at the restaurant we passed 10 times.

First our trip to Lam Sok National Park. Let me tell you about the drivers on these roads. INSANE! A 3 lane highway has two invisible lanes on the insides of the three and passing on the bends seems to be compulsory here. Well we took it an easy 80kph all the way (except when Melly was driving then we were pushing 100, I saw the speedo melly).

We stopped at a nice road side cafe we identified by the tables and chairs outside. As soon as we approached we were greeted by laughter by the shop owner and it was at this point we discovered it was a furniture shop. Luckily next door was a food spot. We battled with a lovely Thai lady to order some food. Next the husband was involved and Mel was making chicken noises and flapping her arms. With the help of their daughter who knew a little more english we ordered our chicken fried rice.

We got to our first National Park that night and checked into a nice bungalow by the park. We had a mosquito net and all over our bed. The National Park appeared to be a Marine park and so we weren’t wanting to pay the 200 Baht entrance fee and instead drove 1k around the corner and walked in (sneaky huh?). The beach was empty and the sun was setting. It was sooo beautiful. We had the beach to ourselves. Wow.

The next day we continued on to another park in the Jungle. Khao Sok I think. As soon as we pulled off the main road into the park I just looked at Melly with a big grin on my face. Mud mud and more mud. Oh and a few lake sized puddles thrown in for good measure. I kicked the sucker into four wheel drive and we were off. Mud everywhere. You couldn’t see out the windshield for mud. Well until I discovered the wipers. After much bumping and splashing we found our next stop. Arts Jungle House. We had a tree bungalow next to the river. It was a great place. It was kinda like being in Jurassic park, and at night when you blew out the candles you couldn’t see you hand in front of your face. Which was a shame cause somehow I lost my torch. Mel was well prepared and had two.

In the morning (after a soothing night of rain on the thatch roof) we went trekking through the jungle. We swam at a swimming hole and boy oh boy it was so nice to be in a river again. We continued on into denser jungle and an Alaskan guy we met on the way in donated us his limes for the leeches and a good thing too. Every ten minutes we stopped and were squirting lime juice on our leech covered shoes. Mel was chief leech squirter. At the end of our hike we came out of the jungle with… guess how many leeches got us… none. Yup humans 1 leeches 0. We were exhausted though and that night I was kept awake by psycho screaming bugs all night. But in the morning (when it finally came) we had breakfast and caught a glimpse of a couple of monkeys on the limestone cliffs by the lodge. After breakfast and repacking we continued on to Phuket. We passed though a flooded town and again the 4x4 ruled! We had the dirtiest car on the roads.

After some stressful driving I finally pulled in to Patong beach. The following day was Mel’s birthday and I had a surprise hotel booking for her planned. So we pulled up to a hotel to check out their dive centre, well this was my story to Mel. Mel got out of the car and started asking the Bellhop about the dive centre. “No no no dive here”. Mel went to the toilet and left me arguing with the bellhop. As soon as she was out of ear shot I told him to get the bags out of the back and hide them. Next I went to reception and hurriedly tried to check in. Fortunately the girl on the desk was aware of my sneaky plans so every time Mel walked past we would talk about dive stuff. Finally once we were all checked in I parked the car and told Mel the dive centre was on the third floor. I don’t think Mel clicked as to what was going on until we got to our room and I opened the door to see our luggage in the room. The following day was special Mel birthday stuff. It was her surprise so I wont tell you about it.

And that brings me to now. Sitting in an e-cafe writing this. Next step is further north up Phuket. Patong beach is just a big tourist hole. I don’t like it. Australians every 10 metres in beach side bars being loud. Its a shame cause the beach is really nice and the tourist and sex industry here just ruins it all. You don’t even feel like you are in Thailand. Well I don’t after everywhere else we have been.

So I shall sign off now. Keep those replies coming. I like to hear about how bad the NZ dollar is getting.

V.